The art of time suckage

I need to preface the results of my internet quiz with the following: I spend so much time with my kid because, if she naps during the day, she goes to bed sometime close to when the late shows come on. I’m lucky if I get that hour of so called “personal time.” Oh, wait, is that supposed to include getting ready in the mornings? Dangit! That brings real “me time” down to like ½ hour. Then there are two dogs to contend with....Of course, I multi-task to get most things done. That's always fun and relaxing, if not the only way.

Bad with numbers

I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my hair stylist for more than a year now (albeit a one-sided monogamy.) I love her. I love the salon. I love the product. I love that even though I always get a mom haircut, I still feel a little rock ‘n’ roll when I leave there. But something so strange happened after my last appointment. When it came time to check out, I tried to be all hoity toity and mimic what I heard at a day spa recently regarding gratuity, “just add 20 percent.” Well, the cashier, who was not the stylist, misunderstood and added $20! Which is twice as much as 20%! And stupid me didn’t notice until I was well out the door and enough time had passed that I would have looked like a total jackass going back in an demanding half my tip back. MerryChristmasandHappyBirthday salon chick. Maybe next time she won’t be so rough with the neck razor….

And another thing, how come in the world of hair-cutting, one inch really equals three? They need a little ruler imprinted on their fancy-schmancy scissors....

“Irreverent and captivating.”

That about sums it up, thanks Amazon.com. Heather Armstrong, blogger extraordinaire, made an appearance last night at Austin’s BookPeople for a reading and book signing for It Sucked And Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita. When Turner volunteered to pick up Kennedy from school so I could go, I almost cried myself! I thought: I can mosey on down to the book store, have a cup of coffee, browse around, maybe pop in to Anthropology next door, get some much needed alone time….. No. By the time I fought traffic, purchased the book, and realized that this was an EVENT, with wristbands, lines, and hundreds of mom’s vying for the best seat in the house, I decided to just grab a folding chair and sit and wait. Luckily for me, I sat next to someone with a kindle and got to stare enviously at this strange new contraption. Everyone around her was oohing and aahing, asking for a better look. It was pretty slick, I must say.

I digress….. So, at 7 p.m., Heather is intro"dooce"d (ha ha). She came down the stairs, big-belly-pregnant with her hubby, Jon, by her side. I think that surprised everyone, and it was really nice that he came. It made the reading that much more entertaining watching the two of them interact in bizarre Armstrong fashion.

First she read a passage from her book about sex after vaginal birth. (Hysterical.)

Then she read her favorite blog post from the past year, about slapping sheep butt. (Cute.)

Then there was an audience Q&A which lasted about 45 minutes. Some of the best questions: Do you feel like a celebrity now? She said sometimes, when she’s recognized in her hometown of Salt Lake City. When I met her at the signing table, I said, “You know you’re a celebrity if you’re on Oprah!” She looked so humbled, like she didn’t want to believe it, but its true! You & I aren’t on Oprah and probably never will be, right? She was also asked some writing questions, like how do you come up with content. She said writer’s block is hard, physically painful even, and that music helps. As for her awesome photography, she revealed her house is usually that clean, but sometimes she photoshops out dog hair and has been known to trim her dog’s nails this way as well. That’s what’s so endearing about her – you’re left wondering what’s more bizarre: that she spends half an hour digitally removing her dog’s toenails instead of just clipping them, or that she openly admits to doing so?

Cute Chicks

The cutest thing about this little hen is the hidden Easter egg inside! Purchased this handmade item for $1 from someone at work.

Yo Yo Yo

Yogurt Maker. I'm very, very intrigued.... We eat a lot of yogurt, Miss K and I. The possibilities are endless.....

Ode to the Oboe

Found note, in my backyard:

As I said before I love to play the oboe and would like to get better at it. I can see myself playing my oboe for the rest of my life. Not because I have to but b____ all the memories that I will gain __________.

There's been a long-standing joke here in the Coats household about oboes, dating back to my work with a Chamber Music group so this little find was hilarious -- of all things, the oboe? Really?

Browbeating

Has anyone ever had this done? It creeps me out and intrigues me at the same time. Come to think of it, I felt the same way about the Epilady shaver when it first came out. Remember that one? I used it once, and didn't even finish the job. (This isn't me by the way, just someone with my coloring and bushy eyebrows).


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